hey there everyone(:
another day has just passed. Had chinese oral O level exam today, and the topic was about teenagers these days using the phone very often to send SMS and to surf the net. I mistook the question as two different parts; phone and computer-online surfing. So i guess it was so horrible. The male instructor was so serious-looking, kinda scared me off actually. During the whole time, my mouth was shivering and i was stammering on my words. Although i had a lot of things to say, it couldn't come out from my mouth, how frustrating!! Well, the passage was about a city in Paris. & best of all, i pronounced "ba li" as "ba sha" which turned out to be market. I'm so crap haha. Anyway it's already over, what's left to say now. Let bygones be bygones. Now, i would just have to worry about my surgery and when i would like my surgery to be donee. Cos my tooth still hurt! It's be more than a week :/ Heeeh.
Anyway i went for counselling today, saw Ms Scully, and talked to her about my life so far. Damn, depressing. My eating habit has be so bad, my social life is at its wits end, my insomnia is back, too overwhelmed lately and that's why i've decided to take a break today. Gonna sleep in early. These past few days have been really bad, and it's still gonna be bad till O levels are over. Anyway it's only 4-5 months more. And all these pain will vanish, that is IF my result is satisfying. After this period, i'm sure to have learnt a lot. I just hope that i can sacrifice what i had, and just focus on my aim in life first (: All my love life is like shit, so i'll just close one eye. I guess if i were to wait long enough, someone might just come unexpectedly (: No hurry. Although i still like someone, i won't fight for it, even for friends, too tiring. If the other is not sincere about the friendship, then so be it. It's hi/her loss.
Friends; i realised that i'm losing a vv good friend of mine, a sister so close to me. She has been so close to Charlene lately, and i hardly have time to talk to her. I no longer know who to talk to about my problems cos she is surrounded by her group of friends, which i doubt i'm included now. I really want things to be the way it is, oh wells. Time changed, people changed too. Everyone seems to love Charlene, when charlene is sad, or angry, people will come and cheer her up, it's so unfair isn't it? Then what about me? Well, i told myself i'll have to get used to being alone. Fighting this battle of wilderness.
Family; my parents, i loathe them, so much. After what they've done, raising me up, still pointless. They hardly spend quality time with me. Even for my wisdom tooth surgery, i have to settle my own. But i can't, i'm under 21. My mother said i should go to the dental myself, but i can't. I need someone there to see me through? I know she doesn't care and all, but why must she say until like this? Am i not her daughter huh? WTF, give me respect cos i've respected you 16 years of my life okay. I don't owe you my life. You should have just aborted me away right? Why add me on as your stress and burden? Your work is more important than health and me, so why raise me up till what i am today? Isn't it useless? Cos i am hopeless after all right?
Screw my life. If life wanna travel that way, i can't change it.

My life. Me. Myself. Alone.

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